The Fourteenth Letter

 
Tuesday, January 15, 2002                                                                11:05 AM
Dear Ducky,
            Going down the Russian River in a canoe with your father—getting caught upon the branch and tipping us over!  Your father says it is my fault, and yells, but is mostly concerned for you, and goes into survival mode.  I think it was the first time that I really saw Tom exhibiting any emotion towards you.  Did we have fun that day?  How old were we?  I can’t remember much about this day.  Could you even swim?  I don’t remember you ever really swimming.  I learned to swim almost before I learned to walk.  Did you ever go with us to Nino’s Agua Caliente swimming pool?  That is such a division between us.  I grew up loving the water, and you perhaps were deathly afraid.  So why did we go on the river?  Obviously Toni did not come along (not a swimmer at all!).  What possessed Tom to do this with us?  Could he swim either?  Why take us two young girls down?  Was I the best swimmer among us?  That is a frightening thought.  But I remember that a part of it was fun, once we got to the part where there were houses along the riverbank, because the water was deep and green.  Did we swim then?  I seem to remember swimming in the cool greenness with you; we were laughing @ each other with our eyes.  It was still, and silent, except for the faint hum of kids playing on the soft beaches.